Most of you know I’ve been hard at work on the synopsis for Light and Dark. I’ve learned some things over the past week, and I wanted to share them with you. After all, social media is about making friends and spreading the love. I wouldn’t want to deny anyone these secrets of the synopsis.
1) Liquor is required to write a good synopsis. Rum and Diet Coke works well.
2) When writing your synopsis, don’t have anything valuable within grabbing distance. The last thing you want to do is to break something.
3) Make sure you’ve said a few prayers to the writing Gods. Consider an offering as well. They like chocolate cake.
4) Do a writer’s version of the rain dance. Put on your best dress (or suit) and perform a jig around your computer. Make sure your motions are jerky and lack all coordination. This ensures you’ll either pass out or think of something better to do.
5) Get an aroma therapy candle. Just like a dog, you can train yourself to be inspired when the scent hits you. And your writing area doesn’t stink from all the stress sweat pouring off you.
6) Remember, writing a synopsis is much like doing a dirty deed for the devil. Watch some good horror movies to get in the right frame of mind.
7) Spend as much time on Twitter lamenting your sad state of life as possible. Your Twitter friends will commiserate with you and then thank God they’re not the ones writing a synopsis.
8) Make sure you use every swear word in your vernacular and then make up some new ones. This is another great trick to keep your creative juices flowing.
9) When all else fails, a good crying jag helps to clear the clogged writing ducts.
10) B*tch and moan to your critique partner so they feel extra sorry for you. Then ask them to fix the piece of junk.
It took a lot of trial and error to learn the secrets of synopsis success, but I think I’ve got the program down now. If you follow these ten pearls of wisdom, you’ll be sure to have a rough draft that needs a lot of work.
Happy Monday! Do you have any tricks to add?