Manic Monday: Old Lady Flips Me Off

I told this story on Natalie Hartford’s blog, but I wanted to share it with everyone here, too.

A few weeks ago, I was driving Grace about an hour a way to meet my mom so she could stay with them for the weekend. Traffic was slow for several miles because a crappy car with a passenger door that didn’t match was holding up the left lane. You know the drill: the car in the passing lane is going about a mile and a half faster than the one it’s trying to “pass” in the right.

I was two cars behind and had swung out a couple of times to see what the hold up was. Yes, I’m impatient. And I was running late. After about ten minutes the right lane opened up, and I jumped into it. When I got up to the mismatching car responsible for the line of pissed off drivers, I automatically looked to the right. I had to put a face on the person I was internally cursing.

What did I see? A woman pushing eighty with her face pressed against the passenger window, screeching and holding both middle fingers up at me. I was too shocked to do anything but laugh. When I passed and looked back, I could see her in the rearview mirror, banging on the dash and presumably still cursing at me.

Grandma and Grandpa Green. I was incredibly lucky to have them as grandparents. He passed in January 1998, on her birthday. She died February 2010. Not a day passes I don’t miss them.

After I stopped laughing, my mind immediately conjured up an image of my Grandma Green. She loved her grandkids, and her house was always well-stocked with candy and fudge-stripped cookies. She didn’t like to cook and wasn’t good it. Spaghettios and sandwiches were her specialities. She did cook on Christmas morning, and her sausages ended up the size of silver dollar. I thought that’s how they were supposed to look until I got to college!

Grandma Green was sweet as pie until you made her mad. Then she could cut you down with a single glare. We all equally loved and feared her.

She spent the last ten years of her life bedridden and slowly losing her senses, especially her short term memory. But her long term was there, and I often wondered if she was trapped inside her head, in a different time. I hoped so, because she was miserable stuck in that bed.

Grandma held grudges (I inherited that lovely trait from her) and wasn’t afraid to say what she thought. I like to think if she hadn’t shut down the way she did, Grandma Green very well could have been that feisty old lady flipping me off.

In the spirit of missing my Grandma, I had to share some of my favorite “angry elderly scenes” from YouTube. Please don’t misunderstand: I’m not making fun of older people. I respect them greatly. But getting old is no fun, and I can’t blame for being mad at the world.

Curse Warning!

Quite possibly one of my favorite scenes of all time. I laugh out loud every time I watch it.

Naturally, YouTube had all sorts of angry old ladies to watch.

This lady is me in about forty years. If I had one of those scooters, I’d do exactly the same thing.

This one had tears in my eyes. Had I been filming these two I probably would have dropped the camera.

A loving couple that’s been together most of their lives. More curse words ahead.

This is one of my all-time favorite commercials. The first time I saw it I spilt my drink I was laughing so hard.

Last but not least, this came up in my YouTube search. The lady isn’t really old, but you all know my love of raccoons, and I had to share.

Do you have any stories with elderly relatives to share? Do you have that grandparent or aunt you walk on tiptoes around? Or one that’s so crass and cranky you love being around?

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About Stacy Green

Stacy Green is the best selling author of psychological thrillers and mystery with a dash of romance. As a stay at home mom, she's blessed with making writing a full-time career. She lives in Iowa with her supportive husband, daughter, and their three fur-babies.
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24 Responses to Manic Monday: Old Lady Flips Me Off

  1. Jessica R. Patch says:

    Bwahahaha! I haven’t had that happen, but one morning on my way to work, an elderly woman was driving with an O2 tank and smoking a cigarette. I laughed till tears blurred my eyes and then said a little prayer she wouldn’t blow herself to kingdom come!

  2. Stacy Green says:

    Oh geez, Jessica! People that do that sort of thing just amaze me. I would have laughed, too. I wish I’d been able to get a video of the lady – it was priceless.
    Thanks:)

  3. donnagalanti says:

    Stacy, thanks for the comic relief on this crazy Monday!! OMG – LOL so much. I think it’s great we have the right to get all crochety and say what we want when we get old – being old will give us that excuse to do so. Great videos posted. LOL!!!

  4. Too funny! I’ve found elderly people either don’t care about anything and are really laid back or are mad at the world. It must be the age. They’ve either accepted this is life or they hate everything about this world.

    • Stacy Green says:

      Kelly
      So true. I think many have accepted it and they’re okay with it. I can’t ever see myself being one of those people, lol. I despise the idea of getting older. I’ll be the cranky old lady in the scooter. I’ll probably be cursing people out, too.
      Thanks!

  5. beverlydiehl says:

    Cranky old people are cute and funny – in SMALL doses. Some of them are actually mentally ill – and it is no fun living with somebody who is cranky as a manifestation of his/her mental illness.

    Even though I agree that raccoons are cute and funny, I wouldn’t want to be surrounded by a ?pack? ?clan? ?swarm? of them like that. I’ve never seen so many together at one time.

    • Stacy Green says:

      True, Beverly. My aunt and cousin took care of Grandma Green the last ten years of her life, and it was tough for them to not only watch her decline, but to have to deal with her mood swings.

      Yeah, I pack of raccoons might even freak me out. I don’t think I have, either.

      Thanks!

  6. My granny lives with me and has dementia. But in her day, boy was she a pistol. Even now it comes out, and i have to laugh, shake my head and say “she’s still in there somewhere!” Thanks for this post. It made me remember the good times with my granny.

  7. Annie says:

    Great fun! Thanks for the good laugh. Still can’t figure out the raccoon one…Geez, is that woman nuts? Because I am moving into “those golden years” I suppose I shouldn’t find this so humorous. Soon my pants will be hiked up around my nipples, or will my boobs fall around my waistline? Either way it isn’t pretty.

    • Stacy Green says:

      Thanks, Annie. Glad you enjoyed it! As much as I love raccoons, I don’t think I’d do what she did. They could have seriously injured her. LOL, you’ve got a while before the boobs and waistline meet.

  8. Catie Rhodes says:

    After a long, tedious day you made me laugh. I can just picture that mad old lady. I had seen the video of the two elderly ladies saying “m-effer.” Cracked me up then; cracks me up now. Thanks for the funny story.

  9. Julie Farrar says:

    So funny, Stacy. A good way to start my week. Since you’ve moved, do I have to do a new RSS, or did all your subscribers get transferred, too?

    • Stacy Green says:

      Hi Julie, glad you enjoyed the post. Unfortunately, subscribers didn’t transfer. That’s the only bad thing about switching. As far as I understand, you have to resubscribe and all that. Sorry!

  10. Wow. Old people are supposed to be sweet and all that. It must be the economy making people grouchy as heck. I had a Chinese dude get pissed at me, rolled down his window and flipped me the bird, the whole time yelling, “f*** you, f*** you!” All I could do was laugh.

    • Stacy Green says:

      I know, right? I think some older people are grouchy because they’re tired and feel they’ve earned the right.

      OMG, that sounds hilarious. Would have made a great YT vid.

      Thanks for commenting!

  11. Hartford says:

    Thanks for the shout out Stacy!! I love that story – riot!
    The videos are hysterical. Seriously. O.M.G.!
    My grandma was a fiesta old lady. She died coming on two years this February and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her. We didn’t grow up near each other but we spent a lot of time together. I have a ton of amazing memories with her.

    • Stacy Green says:

      You’re welcome, Natalie. It was hard to choose the videos – there were a lot where the people were swearing so badly I couldn’t post them, lol.

      I’m so glad you have such great memories of your grandma. I wish I had more with mine:)

  12. hawleywood40 says:

    Reading this was a wonderful way to close out my Monday – hilarious! I am going to be one of those cranky bird-flipping old ladies, I just know it. My grandmother isn’t much of a cusser, but she’s hell on wheels on her scooter. She took out her back door with it a week after she got it – seriously! My grandfather suffered a stroke 10 years ago and now has very limited speech. But one word he never forgot and says at least 10 times a day is “shit.” It is his universal expression when he’s unhappy about something. Like you, I have a great respect for the elderly. But I’m also saddened when I see how hard things have gotten for my grandparents, and laughter is the best medicine. I know my grandmom would love this and if I can ever get her on a computer I”m going to share these videos with her! Love your new home, by the way, and am off to update my link : ).

    • Stacy Green says:

      Glad you liked it. That’s so funny about your grandmother. I’d probably do the same thing. And I’m sorry about your grandpa. Funny as your story is, it’s still sad. To be able to think and not speak would be so frustrating. Thanks so much for the support and comment. Glad I could make you laugh!

  13. Oh, my Mimi. I miss her dearly. She stood about 5 feet on her best day and weighed 90 pounds soaking wet. She birthed five children – three hellacious boys (yes, my dad is one of them) and two girls. They moved from New York City to Midland, TX when my dad, the oldest of the five, was about fourteen or fifteen. My grandmother was not happy that she had to get her driver’s license. LOL

    But, on to obsenities. No one was allowed to cuss (curse) at my grandmother’s table. Except for her. One of her favorite lines was, “don’t you speak like that at my f’n table.” Seriously, I loved that woman. Heck, I still do even though she’s not with us. I think about her daily.

    Fun post, Stacy!

    • Stacy Green says:

      Your Mimi sounds wonderful, Tiffany. Five kids – that’s something. And that sounds like my grandma – she didn’t like driving, either. One thing she never did (that I can remember) was curse. She was pretty proper about that sort of thing.

      I’m loling at her dinner table saying. That’s awesome.

      Thanks!

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