Manic Monday: Dislike, Please.

 

If you use Facebook, chances are you’ve wished for a ‘dislike’ button. Probably several times a day. But you know what would be even better? A dislike button for people.

Come on. You’d use it. A lot, probably.

Imagine. You’re in line at Wal-Mart. A mother with three bored, loud kids is ahead of you, arguing with the checker over a ten cent discrepancy. Every third word out of her mouth is a curse, and she angrily tells her fussing toddler to be quiet while she continues to argue over a dime. And no, I didn’t make that up. How awesome would it be to slam a big, red DISLIKE sticker right on her forehead? Of course, it’s no ordinary sticker. It’s loaded with super glue. She’ll be stuck with that baby for several hours.

Or what about the mom who parks EVERY DAMNED DAY in the carpool lane at school, blocking the line, while she walks her kid inside? Of course, there are parking spots twenty feet away, but she’s special enough she gets to slow everyone else down for the day. Bam! Red sticker for you, lady.

The two-faced coworker. Everyone of us has dealt with them. They’re your best friend until your back is turned, and then they spend an hour badmouthing your outfit, desk, your work ethics, whatever makes them feel better about themselves. Smack! Right on the mouth.

And the jackass who sits directly in front of you at the theater–although it’s mostly empty-and texts during the entire movie so that the glow of his cell phone completely distracts you? Here’s your sticker.

Then there are inconsiderate parkers.

These people are a special kind of jerk, and they’re everywhere. No regard whatsoever for the rest of the population. Two stickers for them–one for their vehicle and one right between the eyes. Nothing like superglue on the eyebrows to teach a person a lesson.

And then there’s my personal favorite: the hubby who knows every damned button to push. You’ve spent an hour cleaning the house. It’s almost perfect, but you haven’t gotten to the refrigerator yet because you know something’s growing in there and you’re afraid to find out what. So he comes home, doesn’t notice the gleaming countertop or fresh-smelling house, and goes straight to the fridge. First words? “Jesus. When are you going to clean this thing out?”

Foot up his ass, sticker for his forehead. With double super-glue.

Who else deserves a big, red DISLIKE sticker glued to their forehead? It’s Monday, so there have to be multiple offenders out there.

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About Stacy Green

Stacy Green is the best selling author of psychological thrillers and mystery with a dash of romance. As a stay at home mom, she's blessed with making writing a full-time career. She lives in Iowa with her supportive husband, daughter, and their three fur-babies.
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43 Responses to Manic Monday: Dislike, Please.

  1. LOL. I have to admit to very rarely checking my Facebook homepage to see people’s updates. Could this be the reason?

  2. Stacy Green says:

    I still can’t decide if FB is really that great for social media, especially with all the changes. And if I had a dislike button, I’d probably have zero friends. 🙂

  3. Stacy! You’ll always have friends if you keep them laughing. This is a departure from thriller thursday which seems to be the posts I end up hitting!

  4. I love this!! Great idea with the stickers.. I have run into my share of twits over the years..
    Great post, Stacy. 🙂

  5. beverlydiehl says:

    Seein’ as I’m about to head to the day job, my pet peeve is drivers who block intersections. They are so eager to get where THEY’RE going, that even though there’s no room for them on the other side of the intersection, they enter it anyway. Meanwhile, there I am, waiting, with my happy green light. Can’t pass through because some jackhat with her Escalade or Beemer or Lexus is IN MY (and everybody else’s) WAY. And it’s not like the intersections aren’t like this almost EVERY morning, like it’s a SURPRISE the roads they are taking are congested.

    Ah well. Eventually, we all get where we’re going. Though I have considered making some kind of a sign to display through my window (they enter said intersections on my side of the car) “Thank you for not blocking the intersection” or “If you can’t get all the way through, don’t be a douche canoe”. Ideas?

    • Stacy Green says:

      OMG, Beverly. We could do a series on inconsiderate drivers. Especially at intersections. I don’t know if it’s all rudeness or part stupidity, but they seem to be rife with jerks. We have an intersection similar to the one you’re describing, sans light, and I encounter a jackass pretty much every time I go through it.

      LMAO at “if you can’t get all the way through, don’t be a douche canoe.” That is AWESOME!

      Thanks for commenting:)

  6. donnagalanti says:

    LOVE THIS! I’ve thought of creating a sign to hold to people as I drive by…ESPECIALLY that carpool lady who blocks everyone when the damn parking spot is a few feet away. TOTALLY inconsiderate…of course, catch me on a bad day and I lay on the horn until she moves…even my son says “Really, mom, who does she think she is??” This person is equivalent to the person who parks in the firelane in front of a store when they could park in the lot a feet away. I wish i was that special! Thanks for the funny Monday rants!

    • Stacy Green says:

      That’s a good idea. I’m so tempted to email Grace’s school and complain, but I don’t want to be labeled as THAT parent. So I keep my mouth shut and give her dirty looks whenever I can.

      You’re welcome. Glad you enjoyed:)

  7. WAHAHAHA! I near died when I read:
    Foot up his ass, sticker for his forehead. With double super-glue.
    Love it!
    Big RED DISLIKE for hubby’s who criticize their wife’s driving when he’s the one that’s nearly ran over pedestrians and a hundred red lights if it wasn’t for wife’s shouts!!!
    Also…people who MERGE onto the highway at a speed of 65 when the limit is 110 – that happened this am and I just about throttled the other driver! LOL!!

    • Stacy Green says:

      Seriously. I could do a post on the ways he annoys. Leaving the cabinets open standing open would be high on the list.

      OMG, my hubby does that too, and because I know he’s going to find something to complain about, I always do something stupid when I’m driving.

      Speed limit of 110?! That must be a Canadian thing, lol.

  8. Elena Aitken says:

    AWESOME!!
    I love this. I think we should have stickers printed up! Seriously…let’s do it..

  9. Lena Corazon says:

    YES, a million times over. Can we add to the list the douchebag drivers who feel the need to turn on their high beams if they think the person in front of them isn’t going fast enough? I’ve had this happen more than once, and it is the most disgusting, egregious, and dangerous form of aggressive and childish behavior I’ve ever witnessed.

    Arrrgh, people.

    • Stacy Green says:

      Yes! OMG, I hate that almost as much as I hate tailgators, or the ones who refuse to turn down their high beams when they’re passing. What you’re talking about is dangerous and ridiculous. People are so impatient, not to mention selfish.

      Thanks!

  10. Hilarious rant this morning, Stacy. 🙂
    The photo of the woman in the orange shirt is hilarious…do you think she realizes? Would love to see her face as someone clues her in. LOL!

    • Stacy Green says:

      Thanks! I was feeling cantankerous. You know, I don’t know. I always assumed those people had to sign waivers to be posted, but maybe not. The Internet is a free place, after all. And yes, that would be hilarious:)

  11. Diane Carlisle says:

    When I’ve picked up, cleaned up and am finishing up a sink full of dishes (I’m serious now, I’m literally on the last fork and ready for a cup of coffee), my husband will go to the fridge and empty leftovers from containers and bring them over to me, plop them into my nicely clean sink and not say a word. Dislike, RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES DUDE!!

    • Stacy Green says:

      I would probably explode. Men are so inconsiderate sometimes. My hubby also likes to miss the laundry basket in our bathroom. He’ll literally drop his clothes right next to it.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  12. Awesome post! Had me laughing so hard. I thought I was the only one who got annoyed with people checking their phones in the theater! It’s impossible to ignore that glow. It is so distracting.

    • Stacy Green says:

      Thank you! So glad you liked – I always worry I’ll offend someone with my complaints. No, that annoys me to no end. It’s one thing before the lights go down, but after that they need to disappear.

  13. Katie Clark says:

    Too funny! Thanks for the chuckle. And yes, I would use it. I have someone in mind right now… 😉

  14. ROFL! That chick’s tshirt had me laughing and turning my nose up at the same time.

    I’d like to give a big fat red sticker to Walmart grocery and Target cashiers who sigh and give the stank eye when you bring a cart of items into their line at 7:45 a.m. It’s their friggin job to check your items and they haven’t been at work long enough to be THAT tired. It’s almost like you should apologize for doing business there. Ew! They suck.

    • Stacy Green says:

      I know. Poor child. What an example that’s been set for her.

      Yes, I’ve had that experience, too. It’s not our fault that’s their shift. God forbid they have to do their actual jobs. Rude people – seems like the world is full of them.

      Thanks:)

  15. ROFL. I have often wished for a “dislike” button. Sometimes I’ve wished for a “loathe.” And occasionally, I’ve wished for a “violently despise.” 😀

  16. I’d love a dislike button! I’d stick it on the forehead of those who didn’t return their grocery carts to the appropriate receptacles.

  17. Julie Farrar says:

    I can think of so many ways to use this button. However, I’m seriously working on trying to keep that steam from coming out of my ears and have a more zen approach to the irritants of daily living. But, yeah, I’d like to have a stash to pat on someone’s back as I leave the grocery store or the fast food joint (how can you step up to the counter at McD and actually have questions?)

    • Stacy Green says:

      That’s probably a good idea. I try to keep my Facebook page positive, but it’s hard. I could unleash a whole diatribe daily, but I don’t. I know! I have no idea how those people can’t know what they want when they walk in the door.

      Thanks for stopping by:)

  18. Catie Rhodes says:

    Who gets the big, red dislike from me?

    ~Ummm…the neighbors. I could weld dislike signs to their cars.
    ~Oh, and those folks in the grocery store who will walk real fast so they can get out in front of me and fart around. I want to holler, “Is that how you drive, too, doodoo breath?”
    ~People (men, usually) who friend me on Facebook so they can ask if I have a webcam and want to chat. Umm, no, dude.

    • Stacy Green says:

      Oh yes, your neighbors could be the poster child for dislike signs. I think people who drive that way – pull out in front and then creep along – should have their drivers license revoke and/or a foot up their butt.

      And ew!

  19. Deb Claxton says:

    I really wish Facebook had a dislike button for people who insult other peoples political views. Also my washing machine broke down so now I have to go to the laundry mat and I really hate people who leave their clothes sitting in the washers and dryers for hours while they’re out drinking or whatever they’re doing. I’ve started taking their clothes out because it is so inconsiderate.

    • Stacy Green says:

      Yes. I see so many people do this, and I just keep my mouth shut. Intolerance – on both sides – is one of the biggest problems in society today. Oh, the laundromat. I remember those horrid days. Does it still cause a fortune to dry clothes?

      Thanks!

  20. Barbara says:

    This is my first visit here, but it won’t be my last! I was in need of a laugh, and you provided it. Thank you!

  21. Julie Glover says:

    Here are my pet peevers: (1) The driver who thinks he can skip everyone else waiting to exit off the freeway, speeds to the front, and cuts in line. Does that person think their time is so much more valuable? (2) People who have t-shirts and bumper stickers with really foul language in large font. This became a problem when my preschool children were starting to read. (3) I will offend someone with this one: People who bring their dogs EVERYWHERE. Seriously, not everyone is a dog lover. I was actually attacked by a dog as a child, and it is unnerving at times to have an unfamiliar dog approach me a public place. I know that I’m not alone with that sentiment.

    All of the examples I’ve read come down to people who don’t consider others. It makes a big difference to pause and think about how we impact others around us. Thanks, Stacy. I’m finished ranting now. 🙂

    • Stacy Green says:

      Oh, Julie, those are some of the worst drivers, and the most dangerous. We have an exit/merge lane here that gets backed up because of that crap. And yes, the foul language can be taken too far. My daughter has noticed some of that. And I do get the frustration with people bringing their dogs – it’s one thing to bring them to the pet store or the park, but that’s enough. Some people do it for attention it seems.

      LOL. You’re welcome. Thanks for the comment!

      • Julie Glover says:

        I feel a little bad now, Stacy. I promise you can go in front of me if we are ever on the same highway together. 😉 (And I don’t dislike dogs. Really.)

  22. Lisat says:

    Perfect! I love this. The parent sitting behind me at my kid’s sporting event, shouting throughout. He gets a big red sticker!

    • Stacy Green says:

      Oh yes. We’ve got a mom like that at gymnastics. All four of her kids train, and she’s way more serious than they are. She’s always talking over the coaches at the boys. Drives me crazy!
      Thanks for stopping by:)

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